Amazing Spider-Man #546
By Geoff Hoppe
January 14, 2008 - 17:06
Praises be, true believers! It’s a sublime new Jubilee Year for Marvel under the most holy and auspicious blessings of Pontifical Editor Joe Quesada! HALLELUJAH!
Yes, Marvel’s the top selling comic book company right now! It’s exciting! It doesn’t matter that they sold out like Courtney Love, or screwed their readers like seventh-grade shop projects! Because they’ve got fan-favorite scribe Dan Slott and hot artist Steve McNiven helming The Amazing Spider-Man! All is forgiven! YIPPEE!
I scream with holily hoarse throat, “COME UNTO ME, MARVEL! FILL ME WITH THY AMBROSIAL NECTAR AND THE SWEET REGULARITY OF THY REGULARLY OCCURING CHARACTERS!” It doesn’t matter that Mephisto magically erased a massive chunk of Spider-Man continuity last issue! Embrace the deus ex machina! What Marvel publishes is writ and rood! NO QUESTIONS, TRUE BELIEVERS! OR THE HYPNO HUSTLER SHALL SURELY SMITETH THEE!
Yea, doth the straining sinews of my legs strain joyously towards the comic store! Peter Parker has a shiny new memory, a shiny new life, and a story that shall certainly bring manna to the tables of many a Marvel employee! Simply by letting a b-character like Mephisto undermine the integrity of the storytelling process, new excitement is created! NEW STORIES! NEW ORDER! HOSANNA!
It’s every bit as magical as when a rich old politician divorces his old model wife so he can afford a newer, shinier, more attractive one! With a bigger chest! DANCE UPON THE SHORE, MIRIAM!
But, do the slithy tendrils of doubt assail thy ears, True Believer? Do you feel used and jerked around like an obnoxious third-grader duct taped to a piñata? Full of unholy misgivings that the money and emotional energy you’ve invested have been for naught? Then repeat to yourself the holy words: IT’S A BRAND NEW DAY! IT’S A BRAND NEW DAY! IT’S A BRAND NEW DAY! And doesn’t that make everything simply wonderful? And forgiven?
Actually, no. It doesn’t.
Worth the money? I’ll let you figure this one out yourself.
Last Updated: May 19, 2020 - 12:25
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