Yeah. I know.
It’s not out yet. Even though they said it would be.
So I’m writing a no-review review. It’s like a no-dinner dinner party, only no money changes hands, and no worthy charities benefit.
All-Star Batman and Robin isn’t a comic book. It’s a temporal anomaly. Despite the news that it would be in stores yesterday, it has yet again slipped the hasty bonds of time and moseyed itself towards a release date of August 27th. Technically. This is after roughly two years plus of delaying this title.
At least one good thing can be said about All-Star Batman and Robin. ASBR's ability to mold the fabric of space-time makes it unlike any comic book ever released (except for maybe that Kevin Smith Spider-Man/Black Cat series that took 4,029 man hours to complete). One has to look outside comics to find a work that simulates this effect. That crappy movie where Keanu Reeves sent Sandra Bullock love notes in his magic time machine mail box comes to mind. Or, more accurately, one could think in terms of outer space travel, where the vast, limitless gulf of dark matter between stars mocks humanity’s hopes for exploration and knowledge.
So yeah. No analysis or review, kids. Just the hope that, one day, mankind shall be graced by the presence of All-Star Batman and Robin, as the far-off alien civilizations of stars beyond human ken shall be greeted by the Voyager satellite’s message of peace and knowledge at some point in the distant future when our sun has grown cold and our species has shuffled off this mortal coil.
…we didn’t put that Keanu Reeves movie inside Voyager, did we?
