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Rush Limbaugh weighs in on Nightrunner scandal, and nearly crushes it
By Dan Horn
July 25, 2012 - 16:04

I love me some Rush Limbaugh. His radio program adroitly marries the soothing ambiance of flapping jowl skins with a charmingly ignorant and xenophobic rhetoric unimpeded by pesky facts, logic, reprisal, or credibility. Rush isn't one of those lame-stream media pundits who's content with telling it like it is; no, like a true patriot, he's not happy until he's told it like it isn't.

This champion of the far Right also has an affinity for Republican Representative and non-slut birth control oppositionist Michele Bachmann, who recently levied allegations of Islamic extremism against the French-Algerian superhero known as Nightrunner. Mere war hero and Republican Senator John McCain challenged the accusations by reminding Bachmann and her Tea Party constituents that Nightrunner is in fact a fictional character from a comic book.

When asked to weigh in on the subject, the ever-chivalrous Limbaugh came to the aid of Bachmann, saying, "Of course centrists like McCain would bring up the fact that Nightrunner isn't real! Of course they would harp on that particular fact!"

The girthy conservative heavy-hitter went on to say, "Sure, they want you to know the 'facts,' but it's all part of a liberal conspiracy to discredit Michele's non-facts. The Obama administration is simply trying to distract us from the bogus backdoor deals they've got going on with these make-believe Muslims. Before you know it, these pretend profligates will gain access to even the most imaginary inner layers of our government, getting their mythic mitts on our literary launch codes. It's all relatively terrifying."

Ice-T responded on Twitter by saying, "I'm surprised you know the word 'profligate,' you drug-addled dip shit."

***Once again, this is not a real news story, but it might as well be.

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