Games

PAX 2011 Report: Intro

By Zak Edwards
August 25, 2011 - 19:52

PAX Report Day 1:
In Which a PAX N00b Gets Acquainted with Seattle and Some Things Gamer

Okay, before we begin this ‘Report’ (a clever way of not calling this a blog), I have a major confession.  First, I am not really a gamer.  I own an Xbox 360, as of last Christmas, and I have a bunch of PS2 games, SNES, and Sega Genesis games, but I don’t really keep up with contemporary video gaming, or really play the other ones with any regular frequency.  I brought six books with me for the car, probably telling of what I like to do (On a side note, I just finished Camilla Gibb’s “The Beauty of Humanity Movement” and, like the rest of her books, I highly recommend it).  So there’s that.  My friends and guides know this and are very eager to make me run out and buy a gaming PC after this experience.  We have collectively driven the 16-Hour drive to get here and are kind of exhausted.  They have, however, selected code-names for the purposes of this Report and are as follows:

Lunchbox: This guy has gone to every PAX, East and West, since 2006.  No Big Deal, as he says.  He’s an Enforcer (a volunteer, something we had to keep quiet at the border) and our de facto guide when he’s not working, which appears to be all the time.

PattyTheCake: He likes all things Star Wars and is our ‘foreign corespondent’ because he’s French Canadian.
Chew: A train conductor with a heart of pure teddy bear malice, he’s been coming for a few years now and generously donated his car to the Report.  He also has a penchant for buying T-Shirts that offend Lunchbox’s love of Capcom games and

PattyTheCake’s love of Star Wars.  He’s currently wearing a Vader shirt holding a boombox, I don’t get the reference and he’s making fun of me for it.
And me: Zak ‘PAX n00b’ Edwards.  Your official PAX Report author.

And now for the Report:

We have a room and are waiting for PattyTheCake to finish showering, having successfully wandered into the proper hotel in beautiful Seattle.  I’ve never been here before, but so far I love this city.  It feels a lot like Vancouver and I can’t wait to explore a little bit later today.

The line up had a girl with a Duck Hunt tattoo on her leg and an Enforcer shirt on her back.  I walked in to Lunchbox reminiscing of last year’s Unicorn theme theatre and both are dismayed about the lack of Cannon Fodder panel.  As usual, Convention attendees offer a knowledge of how the business side of things work far above what people would give them credit.  A conversation ensues about the Square Enix game being announced this weekend and, of course, what the recent acquisitions by ‘Sqeenix’ could mean in terms of both quality and exactly what title will be announced.  As a person who really wants another Final Fantasy Tactics game, I hope a 3DS title is announced to give me a reason to buy the system.  This option, however seems off the table.  The girl, however, finds out I’m at my first PAX.  “Aww, a PAX n00b, adorable,” hair is ruffled and cheeks are flushed.  “Virgin,” I reply.  “Nope, definitely a n00b.”  They laugh, I try to figure out if that’s a backhanded compliment.

“Any tips for the n00b, then?”  
“You have a DS?”
“Yeah.”
“Don’t use Pictochat.”
“Why.”
Lunchbox interjects, “Basically, it’ll freeze and then send you about fifty pictures of dicks in ten seconds.”

The hotel is filled with people obviously here for PAX in a wonderful showing of all sorts, from the Hawaiian Shirt/ Cargo Shorts combos to plenty of video game t-shirts, both obscure (Lunchbox laughs at a shirt of a Tiger doing an uppercut, one I get from when I used to be able to kick his behind at Street Fighter II.  IV is a different story).  All are worn with pride and all are carrying Mass Effect 3 keycards for their rooms, some even have their passes on necklaces around their necks and it seems most have a DS, presumably for more than drawing phalluses.  I feel out of place in my Strokes T-Shirt that is showing obvious signs of it’s five years of going through a laundry machine.  Most are excited, some are staring at the floor quite resolutely.  I’ve been to a few Comic-Cons and I love how people come together at these things, so I’m excited to meet new people.  I did just spend 16 hours almost straight in a vehicle with the same three people.

Unfortunately, something I am sure you have become very aware of, I don’t have much to report so far.  PAX hasn’t started yet, but the people have, and we are off to get some food with some friends these guys have made over a friendly match of MarioKart DS a couple of years ago.  But before I go, I’ll say the following on the format of this Report.  It will be sporadic, as internet is sketchy all the time and I am not paying well over fifty dollars for room internet, and it will be filled with much amazement, frustrations, and pseudo-intelluctualism because I am interested in media and cultural theory.  It was what my recently finished degree was vaguely in (God bless you, Arts Departments!).  Anyways, Chew has gone for a Monkey Scarface t-shirt, something PattyTheCake seems unimpressed with as well (“It’s an amazing film!” “And it would have been better with more monkeys!”).

Until later,
PAX N00b

Last Updated: August 31, 2023 - 08:12