If Brian Michael Bendis types slower than 50 words per minute, a bomb will go off. This is my theory, and it explains both his prolific output for Marvel and its wild variations in quality. Some of his work, like Daredevil and The New Avengers, is fast-paced, funny, and engaging. And some of it seems like he typed it on a laptop while in the lavatory of a Greyhound bus going from Cleveland to Buffalo. Bendis has great talent, which we've all seen in Powers, Jinx and Torso, and he's apparently being punished for this talent by being forced to write everything from Ultimate Spiderman to the company Christmas cards. His name sells comics, that's clear, but he's still an writer, not a brand, and that's something that should be kept in mind before he burns himself out and the bus explodes.

 
The New Avengers: Illuminati is actually co-written by Bendis and Brian Reed, an arrangement that seems even more suspect. Coupling Bendis' over-exposure and huge workload with my distrust of co-authorship, I fear that this comic may be less of a collaboration and more of a book based on an idea Bendis mumbled in his sleep, fleshed out by Reed in a coffee and nicotine stained office while a Marvel editor with a bullwhip stands over his shoulder. Still, it's not a bad book, but it's not much more than an average read, and therefore an inconsequential addition to Bendis' oeuvre. The basic idea of the comic book is that for years, there has been a hidden cabal of Marvel Heroes, a secret society of intelligentsia that have been pulling the strings behind some of the Marvel Universe’s biggest events. In a sense, Bendis has created the Freemasons of comicdom, but presumably ones that save lives instead of smoking cigars and betting on canasta. It's an intriguing idea, and one that feels appropriate considering Marvel's current obsession with conspiracies and media manipulation. Unfortunately, by virtue of the fact that the Illuminati consist of the brightest intellectual lights in the Marvel Universe, they seem like the equivalent of a Star Trek fan club that fights evil. Even if you put Namor in a black leather vest, teaming him up with Reed Richards, Professor Xavier, Reed Richards and Dr. Strange isn’t going to work. They still appear to be far less likely to hold the fate of the world in their hands than a petition to save Firefly. Even the inclusion of Inhumans leader Black Bolt can't make the team seem any cooler, and squaring them off against the Skrull in the first issues like a bad Secret Defenders story doesn't help either.

Taking place after the Kree-Skrull War, the first issue has the Illuminati confronting the Skrull Emperor   with an ultimatum, forbidding him to attack Earth again. Apparently under the mistaken assumption that all the Skrull need is a stern lecture and a 2 minute time out to stop picking on Earth, the heroes are quickly captured, and subject to Skrull experimentation. The issue is fast-paced, on the verge of feeling rushed, and some of the dialogue is pure Bendis, meaning it's snappy and could just as easily come from the Wolverine as it could from Mr. Fantastic. The art, by Jim Cheung with inks by Mark Morales, is effective, with Cheung's distinctive razor sharp lines and dynamic use of perspective elevating what could have been a forgettable comic to a half-decent read. But while the series may yet grow and develop over the next few issues, so far it has yet to live up to the promise of its premise, and of its Bendis brand.

Rating: 6 on 10

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