Alien vs Ninja
By Chris Zimmerman
March 24, 2011 - 12:36
Writer(s): Seiji Chiba
ISBN: 1-4210-2265-6
$29.98 US
Starring: Shuuji Kashiwabara, Ben Hiura,Mika Hijii
Directed by: Seiji Chiba
Produced by: Nikkatsu
Running Time: 81 minutes
Release Date: February 22, 2011
Distributors: Funimation Entertainment
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After laying waste to their enemies, Yamata, Jinnai, and their ninja pals witness a mysterious object falling from the heavens and crashing into the woods. They pick up their fellow ninja, Rin along the way and head off to investigate. Before long, they find themselves under siege by monsters that attack from underground. But wait…these aren’t monsters at all, but aliens, who quickly give up their tactical advantage and combat the remaining ninjas head-on, to less than stellar results.
The premise is so absurd, it’s actually appealing. One knows it’s going to be either a stupid film that’s fun or a stupid film that feels like you’ve been afflicted by a migraine. Sadly, there’s just too much going against it. The special effects are amateurish, the plot is thin as a sheet, and the dialogue is painful on the ears.
In these types of film, the purpose of the movie is to create a bind between the audience and the characters so that when they are placed in peril, we are invested enough that we don’t want to see them die.
The special effects are just atrocious. The aliens don’t look frightening at all. They look like monsters you would find on Power Rangers except bland and boring. Then there are the parasites that protrude from their heads that would look comical if they didn’t look like a disfigured animal fetus.
When stupid movies are made fun ala Shoot ‘em up or Kung Fu Hustle, then they work in satisfying the audience. Alien vs Ninja was just an exercise in poor writing and lazy movie making. The film feels like a fart in a church; uncomfortable and embarrassing, made even more so by the 81 minutes it robs of its viewers.
D
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Alien vs Ninja