Pop Culture

Finally

By The Reverend
February 24, 2004 - 13:07

All kinds of things going on in the last few days where I found myself using the most inoffensive F-word around…

FINALLY, SOME REAL PROGRESS ON THE JLA! No, I'm not talking about the monthly title, but maybe someday. DC Direct collectors everywhere breathed a collective sigh of relief when the prototypes for the Silver Age Atom, Firestorm, Elongated Man, and Adam Strange were unveiled at the American International TOY FAIR in New York City. This line was promised to me personally from the DC Direct head honcho himself last August, so my doubts were minimal almost to the point of nonexistence, but as Tom Petty might say, the waiting is the hardest part. The figures themselves look extraordinary, and it's my understanding that we have sculptor James Shoop to thank. I could not think of one thing to improve on the Firestorm figure if you paid me, that much I know. For my personal JLA collection, this JLA Satellite wave will fulfill my wish list for the Justice League collection I've built.

I have all the characters I want, but now it may be a point of replacing a couple of characters down the road if DC Direct decides to improve on any of the ones they've already produced. As cool as the Hard Traveling Heroes line was, everybody knows that they've come a long way since then in the quality and functionality of their action figures in general. If I feel the need to upgrade Hal Jordan, I always have the more recent Silver Age version to fall back on, and I would absolutely entertain the notion of an all-new Green Arrow/Black Canary deluxe set if the powers that be were so inclined. And then there's Zatanna. I am in the minority, apparently in thinking that DC Direct did okay with this figure. If you think about it, in the last four years, how often has DC Direct produced the Silver Age version of a character early on? Superman, Aquaman, and Batman were first done by DCD in their Silver Age forms. When DCD decided to do a Wonder Woman that looked compatible to everything else they were doing by 2001, they went with the Silver Age look. So how did DCD blow it with Zatanna? I suppose the fact that her legs don't move, but you could indict DCD on their overall female character output if that's the case. I really don't think the company dropped the ball on Zatanna, but there is absolutely nothing wrong with making another figure in the costume that really put her on the map: the blue robed ensemble with white cape. This version definitely sells itself with a more superhero-ish costume, and Zee spent more time in the JLA in this costume than any other. Even DC Direct has acknowledged this to a certain extent in using the blue and white version in their line of mini-busts. I'm all over an action figure of this, but I won't lose any sleep if it doesn't happen.

FINALLY, A REASON TO PICK THE CUBBIES TO WIN THE NL CENTRAL! This was weeks in the making, and all the more ludicrous when you realize how quickly the Evil Empire was able to broker a relatively reasonable deal to add Alex Rodriguez to their All-Star lineup, but Greg Maddux has come home. Adding Maddux to a pitching rotation that already features Kerry Wood, Mark Prior, and Matt Clemente was just off-season move the Cubs needed to make to give fans a reason to believe that, billy goat curses aside, the World Series is not something baseball fans in Miami and New York get to enjoy. When you got Maddux as your #3 pitcher, and he's got productive years in front of him, even at age 37, then you're a force to be reckoned with this year. And how could any self-respecting baseball fan not appreciate the sentimental notion that a player who was cast off in a fit of penny-pinching apathy over a dozen years ago could actually get another opportunity for postseason glory when the old misers became a team that transformed into the big market franchise it was always meant to be? October's already my favorite sports month of the year, but it just got a whole lot sweeter.

FINALLY, AN END TO THIS PAINFUL HOUR! I have failed in my attempt to completely avoid the scourge that is reality television. I don't look at any of it through rose-colored glasses, because I do firmly believe that the genre will figure out a way to cannibalize itself into pop culture oblivion. But I have little difficulty right now finding myself plopped in front of the TV after work to watch American Idol. People say they watch these shows to watch train wrecks, and who am I to argue? As a music fan, this show has served me in multiple ways in that I appreciate the music I generally purchase and pay to see performed a whole lot more now. The show was pared down to 32 contestants as of last week, and they're featuring eight per week with only two making it from each bunch. It's a good thing only two could be selected from this group, because they were lucky to get enough to go on.

I always assumed with the stellar ratings that this show got the last two seasons that more people would know by now what Randy Jackson, Paula Abdul, Simon Cowell & Co. are looking for in potential pop star talent. You figure that when this crew hits all the major cities in America, and they end up narrowing it down to 32 people, that you'd get some superior performers. You'd be wrong. I can't even sing, but I'd be infinitely more fearless with the song selection and stage presence than most of these clueless kids are, and that's saying a lot. I'll give these kids all the credit in the world for handling a big stage for the first time, because it can't be easy. But no one has shown any instincts that prove that they have any business doing videos, commercials, halftime shows, and TRLperformances any better than Clay Aiken, Kelly Clarkson, or Ruben Studdard (Studdard, by the way, currently responsible for one of the most ridiculous songs in years, "Sorry 2004" - sorry, indeed).

One contestant this week, Matt Rogers, a guy who won't hesitate to remind everyone that he played in and won the 2001 Rose Bowl, told the television audience that he'd like to make the dastardly Simon's head bleed for rating his performance a 3 out of 10. Classy. What gets annoying is seeing these hacks get so prepared to take on Simon that they lose sight of their own mediocrity, and Cowell is, while entertaining, the most sensible person on this show, bar none. Randy is happy as long as "the dog does his thang," and Paula Abdul? A pop singer whose overall performances were marginal at best during her salad days? Like she's going to bring anything to the judges' table except kind words and fluff. When Paula threatened to hit Simon for delivering a scathing critique, he actually encouraged it because it would have felt better than anything he was subjected to during the February 17th show. When Hawaiian native Camile Velasco turned out a respectable performance deep into the program. Randy's first response was "Finally." Guys, I feel ya.

But as should be expected from a corporate-owned TV show that exists for the sole purpose of manufacturing pop stars, Matt, with his winning attitude, actually snagged an advance to the next round over the clearly superior Lisa Leuschner. Leuschner was head and shoulders above the other seven contestants, and she made the top three. But Simon, regularly a divining rod for actual singing talent, all but indicted Leuschner for her curvaceous appearance, something that'll never help one's chances on the Billboard charts, right Ruben? Thank you, Simon, for making it clear what really counts to make it deep into this competition.

FINALLY! SOME CLARITY ON THE ISSUES THAT MATTER MOST! Not quite. But I did find these remarks from the Associated Press peculiar:

"While declining to express her own opinions about gay marriages, [First Lady Laura] Bush said, 'It's an issue that people want to talk about and not want the Massachusetts Supreme Court, or the mayor of San Francisco to make their choice for them. I know that's what the president thinks.'"

So while the Chimp was just angelic about the Supreme Court stepping in to name him president when the popular vote made it clear he lost the 2000 election, supreme courts on a state level are not supposed to step in on matters regarding marriage rights? The courts are great only when they help your family, right Georgie? This is exactly why the courts are available for us, for crying out loud, and they didn't step in to push an agenda. The Massachusetts Supreme Court was asked to render a decision over a matter that was brought to them after everyone presented their case. Take me, for example. I have legal issues and feel that I am being denied my rights as a taxpaying citizen, and I take the matter to court where I can plead my case in front of attorneys and judges who themselves were appointed by elected officials. That's how it works. Honestly, when the courts uphold abortion laws and occasionally allow homosexual Americans the right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness, the G.O.P. and right wing Christian hardliners cry foul. And this, again, coming from a guy who wants to spend billions of dollars of our money to teach men and women how to get married, along with creating an amendment specifying marriage as something that can only be "enjoyed" by a man and a woman. Finally, a president that makes sense…

FINALLY, A CHANCE TO SAY GOODBYE! I'd be remiss if I didn't acknowledge the series finale of Sex and the City, a show I've watched plenty in the last five years. I'm not exactly sad about the show's demise, though, because I used to like the show better when it was a comedy. Back in the day, Sarah Jessica Parker, the one I will always remember as the one who would not get naked for the show, appropriately enough was always the straight woman to the other three and their romantic and sexual foibles. But for the last couple of seasons, the three other ladies, played by Kim Cattrall, Kristin Davis, and Cynthia Nixon, all gradually migrated to what I refer to as the "Carrie Bradshaw Dark Side." As Davis's Charlotte became an abrupt newlywed, a divorcee, and eventually unable to produce babies, so went the laughs. The same can be said for Nixon's Miranda as she became a single mom. It was only a matter of time - and at least they waited until the bitter end - before we saw Cattrall's vivacious and fearless character slip into a somber storyline: that of a breast cancer patient. Hey, if it wasn't the big C, it may very well have been a sexually transmitted disease, no offense, Samantha. But in Cattrall's defense, God bless her for looking a thousand times better than she ever did in her Mannequin days, and also having the one significant other on the show who all the gay guys can lust after, and from whom all the straight guys can learn shitloads. No joke, Jason Lewis's Smith character has to be one of the coolest guys to come down the pike since the Fonz. If you watched this season's shows, you'll know what I mean. Godspeed, girls! Maybe I'll try a Manhattan in your honor.

FINALLY, SOME PARTING COMMENTS…

Last year I brought up Scottie Pippen's return to the Chicago Bulls as hopefully, for their sake, a return to better days. Didn't happen, but it was not his fault. This team's only real hope of ever being a playoff team again is to cast off all remnants of former GM Jerry Krause's reign and start fresh. Krause's attempt to turn a couple of toddlers into twin towers failed, and there's only so many years the fans will put up with it. The United Center already has one team with zero commitment to excellence, the Blackhawks. The Bulls don't need to give them a second.

Ah, the Colorado Buffalo football program. Another head coach, another scandal. I'm not ready to fully indict coach Gary Barnett as the mastermind behind a Sopranos-style "strippers for recruits" arrangement, because a coach's reach can only go so far with dozens of 18- to 21-year-old students. But when a former player, a young lady, goes public about her constant harassment and eventual rape by another player four years ago, you don't call into question her legitimacy as a quality kicker, and use terms like "awful" to describe her play as a defense to charges that serious. Especially when other rape charges have been popping up. Big no-no. His disciplinary leave as a result was totally deserved for his insensitivity to the issues.

I've gotten into the FOX show The O.C. lately. What can I say? I love the 20-somethings who play high school hotties. Sue me. The thing that does make this show better than Beverly Hills 90210 is the humor. It's infectious. But there's one aspect of the show that I totally appreciate for the recognition, but also condemn for being pure fantasy. Teenage comic book lover, Seth, played hilariously by Adam Brody, unsuccessfully tried to keep his girlfriend, Anna, (Samaire Armstrong) around while maintaining a flirtatious friendship with the longtime object of his desire, Summer (Rachel Bilson). Anna's a comic book geek like Seth, and he recently indoctrinated Summer into comics with choice reading like Watchmen and Dark Knight Returns. Even the dreaded "grim and gritty" phrase came up in conversation. I love seeing the comics get cool mainstream exposure, especially stuff I can wholeheartedly endorse, but the storyline was still pure fantasy. Why? Because a comic book geek with TWO absolute cuties fighting over him would never, ever happen. EVER. JSA and The Flash is more realistic than The O.C..

Last Updated: November 29, 2025 - 16:51