Pop Culture

What I Learned This Summer

By The Reverend
September 6, 2003 - 13:22

This is a regular column by writer Rev. O.J. Flow. In this article, Rev. O.J. Flow critics the latest X-Men movie, X2: X-Men United. It is an authorized republication from a message board posting. The Comic Book Bin hopes you enjoy it as much as we did.

For most people, the summer concludes with the Labor Day weekend. While I rarely like to make that particular concession, what with summer never really kicking in here in Chicago until the middle of June, I try to milk September and October for all they're worth. Unfortunately the end of summer was thrust upon us this weekend with Sunday and Monday being bloody miserable. The clouds and rain parted today, just in time for everybody to get back to work (ugh), so I think there's hope. That being said, I figured I'd get back to my elementary school roots, now that kids are back in class, and share with you, my favorite class here, what I learned over the summer.

Yes, it is possible to give a comic book superhero motion picture too much depth. Turns out that Hulk, with a mature script that didn't automatically pander to the Kay Bee Toys crowd, was a bit too much for the grown-ups as well. The Ang Lee film that introduced ol' Jade Jaws to the cineplexes has yet to rope in $150 million domestically, but I have the feeling Universal will take a chance with this character again with a creative team that's ready to embrace the "Hulk Smash" aspects of the Marvel comic.

I learned that DC Direct collectors who are fans of Adam Strange, Elongated Man, Firestorm, the Atom, Batwoman & Bat-Girl, and the "Hush" storyline in Batman are really going to be happy in 2004.

Apparently the hyper-violent sport of baseball is enough to drive fans crazy. Literally. Crazy enough that they want to run out to the field and rip up some shit. William Ligue Jr., who made himself an ESPN SportsCenter staple last fall with his father-son thrashing of Kansas City Royals first-base coach Tom Gamboa at the former Comiskey Park (now appropriately nicknamed "The Cell" from U.S. Cellular Field), was let off with a relative slap on the wrist for his infractions. The judge presiding over Ligue's sentencing, Leo Holt, rationalized that between pitchers' beanballs and periodic brawls among major league teams that fans nowadays are ticking time-bombs waiting to blow. Ligue got probation and a curfew for the next year or so, and Gamboa has permanent hearing damage and a tendency to look over his shoulder a lot more than any middle-aged man in his line of work should have to do. Why I bring this up now is that Ligue will be seen this week on Inside Edition as camera crews followed him on a court-approved trip to watch the Chicago White Sox a few days ago. While complaining to a fruit grocer about inferior product can get Cosmo Kramer banned for life by his local vendor, apparently no such punishments can be inflicted on a drug-addled jackass who commits assault and battery in front of a live audience. The league and the team wanted the convicted felon banned for keeps, but Judge Holt was feeling merciful in a way not seen with jaywalking offenders. It's an understatement to say a bad, bad precedent was set with this (in)decision.

Thanks to the excellent film Swimming Pool, I discovered that middle-aged actresses can teach a thing or seven to the gutless Hollywood starlets who masquerade as the best talent America has to offer.

Monica Bellucci is way more than just a pretty face, as one may assume from the few minutes we got from her in Matrix Reloaded. "Fearless" and "extraordinary" are just a couple of the superlatives I'm enthusiastically throwing her way after having seen Irreversible. Greg Rucka happened to mention in the latest issue of WIZARD that Bellucci would make a fantastic Wonder Woman for the silver screen, and I'm not inclined to disagree now. Irreversible is an amazing film once you can get past the horrific violence and disturbing imagery. Speaking of gutless, I'm about ready to write off Hollywood altogether, what with the fact that the best movies I've seen in the last year or so come from everywhere BUT Hollywood. As long as Jack Valenti and the MPAA are the power brokers they are in Tinseltown, I don't see that changing a whole lot.

I was reminded that Katherine Hepburn, in her prime, were she with us today, would probably not have been one of those gutless Hollywood starlets I mentioned earlier.

Thanks to VH-1, it was confirmed recently that the 1970s were as gay as I feared they were. Thanks to NBC and Bravo, it turns out right now is pretty gay too. ;)

I learned that even you -- after having paid a $3,500 fee - have what it takes to run for governor right now. I also learned that, thanks to Republicans, losing an election to your public-appointed competition is no need to give up and move on, no, not at all. There are all kinds of other ways to obtain public positions that you didn't win initially when taxpayers had their say. No, there's recalls, impeachments, even exuding influence on the federal and state courts. They don't call America the land of opportunity for nothing, you know.

Speaking of opportunities, turns out you can go back home again. Scottie Pippen, thanks to the ever-so-welcome departure of Chicago Bulls General Manager Jerry Krause, could very well end his career as a Bull. Pippen stands to end a streak of consecutive seasons of postseason play by joining the Baby Bulls, but some of these guys are ready to grow up, and Scottie might be the right helping hand. This all depends on how deep into the season that he has to be said hand.

It was confirmed to me that Eagle County, Colorado, is not as white as I thought it was (as a longtime Colorado resident. It's whiter. Good luck, Kobe. Dummy.

I learned that this war in Iraq is going to take a lot more hard work, money, and time before we can consider it a victory. Actually, I knew that back when Dubya thought it be really neat to don fighter pilot gear in declaring the Iraqi invasion a success. I also knew our president was, and is, full of shit.

Did you know that only two of the Ten Commandments are currently enforceable laws? Neither did Alabama, I'm afraid.

Did you folks learn anything interesting this summer?

Last Updated: November 29, 2025 - 16:51