I love my wife. Being married is to say the least, educational. It prompts such questions as "Have you ever worn tights?" Fortunately without a lie detector in sight, I was able to tell her no.

But what prompted it was a discussion regarding why Superman wears his underoos outside of his costume. My missus explained that tights are like pantyhose, and if I'd ever worn any, I'd be aware that the underoos keep the crotch of the Man of Steel's costume from hanging down to his knees.

Makes sense to me, but if I can suspend my sense of belief to accept that a child was rocketed to Earth from another planet, and grew up to be a super-powered crime fighter with powers and abilities far beyond those of mortal men, I'd accept the notion that his costume doesn't droop in the drawers.

I'm usually a traditionalist, resistant to too much change - just ask my wife. But still, I think eliminating the trunks from Superman's costume might be a good idea. Maybe convert them to a red belt or something. Before I start getting hate mail on the idea, allow me to suggest that even if such a change did take place, it would only be a matter of time before the next writer and/or artist undoes my suggestion. Status quo restored, and all is right with the world.

Batman's another one who wears his briefs outside his clothing. I'll cut the Last Son of Krypton some slack, but Batman has no super-powers to explain the mechanics of his costume. Must get mighty toasty in the summertime. There's an old Mad cartoon in which Sergio Aragones shows Batman after a day at the beach. And poor Alfred; he's gotta wash those things.

But let's examine some of the other super-hero costumes we know, and questions that have arisen over the years. Such as, does Flash's costume have a zipper? No, and if you're wondering how he gets into it, he just vibrates through the fabric.

And yes, the original Golden Age Green Lantern is color blind. It's why his costume is purple AND red AND green. His successor, Hal Jordan, has a stylish uniform, but Kyle Rayner, not so much.

And speaking of the Golden Age, my personal favorites have been those who seem to wear some sort of civvies for costumes, like the original Sandman. Green double-breasted suit, with a gas mask and cape. Or the Green Hornet. Take off the mask, and he's your average joe, out on the town.

Superboy's non-costume made the most sense to me - T-shirt and jeans, a classic combination since the 1950s. I was hoping that someday he'd get a little more ambitious in his wardrobe, perhaps a nice Armani suit with a S pin on his lapel. But alas, his demise during the recent unpleasantness dashed all hope that heroes wouldn't need to be dressed in colorful costumes.

I don't object to masks and capes, but let's face it, precious time is often lost when a crime-fighter has to pause and change clothes. And it gets a bit warm wearing a second wardrobe underneath one's street clothes. It also begs the question of where one puts utility belts, shields, bow & arrows and other such accoutrements.

But please don't let my thinking out loud diminish anyone's enjoyment of the comics medium. I'm reminded of when the movie E.T. came out. After coming to Earth, narrowly escaping the authorities, levitating household objects and flying past the moon, E.T. suddenly comes back to life in the back of an ambulance. As the doors popped open, I heard a voice in the audience behind me mutter "I'm so sure," and I had to wonder at what point this movie began to deviate from this person's reality.

So yeah, maybe not wearing tights and a cape makes for more realism, but if realism is what we're after, why the heck are we reading comic books? When we set reality aside for 22 pages a month, it all becomes acceptable. Check your anal-retentive demand for the real world at the door, because after all, isn't part of enjoying comic books the opportunity to escape from the real world?

Praise and adulation? Scorn and ridicule? E-mail me at philip@comicbookbin.com. Corrections are always welcome.