Movies / Movie Reviews

The Grey: 5 Parting Thoughts

By Dan Horn
February 6, 2012 - 18:42

My threshold Rotten Tomatoes rating that decides which movies I'll see in theaters is around 70%, above which the feature film The Grey was hovering somewhat closely. Couple that rating with a very deceptive ad campaign which, much like Drive's, touted The Grey as some sensationalized action film, and I was becoming more and more reluctant to pay the ridiculously steep modern box-office ticket prices. Still, I determined to see it. After watching the film, I was surprised that it had amassed only a C equivalent rating. So, I read what some of the negative reviews had to say in regard to the dark survival thriller.

To say I was appalled is an understatement. The idiotic things that some of these reviewers were articulating kept me up at night, grinding my teeth. Most of the negative reviewers found fault in The Grey's "big ideas," "philosophy," and "metaphysics." God forbid a movie would mean anything!

The Grey has "big ideas" like Jack London's To Build a Fire had big ideas, rudimentary realities that may not be for the faint of heart, but certainly aren't quite as monumental or as subversive as those naively Calvinistic would like you to believe. What really gets my goat is that those imbeciles are actually getting paid to write fucking reviews that tell you to avoid movies that have some sort of message!!!!!

Jesus Christ, I'm having a nervous breakdown. Pull yourself together, man!

Anyway, The Grey is a fantastic film, if you can overlook its deeply flawed CGI and brief lapses in directorial finesse. However, for that director in question, Joe Carnahan, The Grey sees him taking steps back to his Narc-era brilliance, and several simultaneous steps away from his Smokin' Aces and A-Team silliness. Similarly, leading man Liam Neeson steps outside of his recent actioner arena to deliver a brutally human performance. The supporting cast is likewise rounded out by incredible and palpable performances.

I wanted to review The Grey at length, but, seeing as how this review is quite a bit late, I have to wonder if I'll say anything that hasn't already been said. So, I'll simply leave you with five parting thoughts on the film:


5. Up 2 SD mental health resources advertising in the particular theater in which I saw The Grey was a bit like Paula Deen sponsoring diabetes medication.

4. The Grey: You'll never want to go into the frozen tundra again. #JawsInAlaska

3. New tagline for the DVD release: "Will continue to remind you of the utter futility of your life even days after you've seen the film!"

2. Second DVD tagline: "Suicide propaganda at its most nihilistic!"

1. Suffice it to say, Liam Neeson is no Bear Grylls.

Last Updated: August 31, 2023 - 08:12