Movies / Home Theatre

Barb Wire

By Mitch Emerson
Jul 19, 2007 - 7:55

Title: Barb Wire
Starring: Pamela Anderson, Temuera Morrison, Victoria Rowell, Jack Noseworthy, Xander Berkeley
Directed By: David Hogan, James M. Arnett
Produced By: Peter Heller, Brad Wyman, Mike Richardson
Genre: Action/Adventure, Science Fiction/Fantasy and Adaptation
MPAA Rating: R

Disclaimer: I have not seen Casablanca so the mention of Barb Wire as a Casablanca rip off is something I have found mentioned on almost every single site/review I read while doing research for this review.

Barb Wire is a mercenary for hire in the last free city on earth, Steel Harbor. She doesn't usually take sides, but does this time. She has to get some contact lenses to a doctor that carries the cure for a disease in her blood. She must reach other doctors in Canada and those lenses will allow her to pass the security scanners.

If memory serves me, Barb Wire (the comic book) came out in the early to mid nineties when most of the comic world was taken by the “Bad Girl” craze, where every company had two or three titles of scantily clad spies, warrior women, Goddesses, witches, etc. Barb Wire was one of Dark Horses properties that followed that theme. I never read the book, but yes, I was caught up in that craze, Witchblade, Tomb Raider and Lady Death just to name a few. Anyway, these types of books did not translate into movies very well until Lara Croft: Tomb Raider was released in 2001. Barb Wire is a perfect example of how a comic adaptation should not be done. First take a classic storyline, ala Casablanca, switch the roles around and cast Pamela Anderson, who just may be one of the worst actresses on the face of the earth, have bad production values and then treat it as if it was a serious drama/action flick.

The first five minutes of the film let you know exactly what you are in for: Pam Anderson in leather, corsets, leather corsets, and nothing. With a pole dance right out of your local adult bar that lasts for exactly 4 minutes (I timed it), you just know that you need some kind of mind altering substance in order to deal with this film. I felt like I was watching something from the Playboy channel or Skinemax for a few minutes.

As a man who is not a Pam Anderson fan I could not find one redeeming quality about this film. Most of the acting is OK, but I cannot even count that as a plus as Pam Anderson's non acting overshadows everybody in this. It was interesting to see Temuera Morrison in a pre Star Wars role (he played Jango Fett in the prequel trilogy). Clint Howard does his standard b-movie cameo/role. The best “performances”, and I use the term loosely, are from Udo Kier and Xander Berkeley. Kier plays Curly, Barb's right hand man and is the only one who seems to understand how cheesy this film is and plays his part appropriately. Berkeley is Alexander Willis, the slightly corrupt police chief who switches sides and helps Barb.

Well, this is much more time than I really wanted to spend talking about a horrible comic adaptation than I meant to. I swear I need to get paid to watch things like this.

Until Barb Wire 2: The Honeymoon Home Video,
keep reading

Mitch E.

Last Updated: Jun 26, 2018 - 9:28

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