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In Flash #2, when Wally was given the lottery money, he said (with his identity as the Flash still unknown to the world at large, remember) his goal in life was to pursue a Doctorate in Physics- so either he was fibbing to the cameras, or he really had the intention to go back to his academic life once he'd settled his current problems. But what about Barry's death? Both Flash Annual #8 and Green Arrow #17 clearly show a Justice League concerned about protecting his secret after his death... and as to Green Arrow #17, his identity was only revealed by the Flash Museum in an exhibit they did to honor him.
When the Flash was buried and the JLA had to pay for his funeral (Flash #1), they didn't tell anyone the Flash's identity- as Dexter Miles remembers the funeral in Flash Annual #8, "Superman and the others spoke at his funeral (...)." I guess the only question without an answer is whether Barry Allen himself had a funeral as well, meaning, for his civilian identity (keep in mind he was declared a missing person after the whole Professor Zoom affair, not dead).
Regarding graves, then... I recall two times Barry's tombstone was shown- The first time happened in Flash #18 (11/88, written by Messner-Loebs), when Vandal Savage hid a kidnapped baby in Barry's grave and Wally ran for the rescue. Weird enough, it happened in a cemetery around New York City, and even Wally notices it's odd Barry wasn't buried in Central City. There's an explanation for that one: Messner-Loebs always said he wrote the Flash issues in the "Marvel Method", or "plot first"- where the writer gives the artist a general outline of the story and then writes the dialogue over the artwork- thus Wally's remark was Messner-Loebs quick and easy way out of it. Anyway, Barry's tombstone has a Flash insignia on it- meaning, everyone knew it was the Flash that was buried there. Read related reviews such as:
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So again, after all the Darkseid affair was over and the heroes had won (Legends), Wally realized the best way to get rid of his ID crisis and honor Barry's memory at the same time was to live his own life... and he simply stopped caring for his secret identity at all! (Flash #1).
Remember the Museum was setting up an exhibit at the time Kid Flash took on the Flash's identity? So there you go- after "The Flash" was revealed to be Kid Flash by Dr. Alchemy, the people of the Museum, even against the JLA wishes, decided to go public with Barry's identity- and they did just that once their exhibit was opened to the public (Dexter Miles, the Museum's Curator, was aware of his friend Barry's double-life).
I really think that Barry was only properly put to rest after the Flash- after the Flash Museum went public with his ID. Also, I'm unsure whether Barry's parents got to know their son was the Flash- for as per Flash #143 (12/98, written by Mark Waid), "not long after Barry left us, his parents passed on"- and yes, we saw the graves!