Movie Reviews
Little Man
By Tony Farinella
August 25, 2006 - 08:21




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Before the screening of A SCANNER DARKLY in downtown Chicago on a rainy Tuesday in late June, Efilmcritic.com's Peter Sobczynski was walking around, ranting, and raving as a shy and hidden WGN film critic Dean Richards took his seat. I was seated in the back next to a man eating a burrito and stinking up the place and being quite messy. Peter was discussing if we would have the screening of LITTLE MAN, or YOU, ME, and DUPREE. He was hoping for LITTLE MAN, as he said it might be so Apocalypticly Awful it must be seen to be believed. I was first of all, amused by his word choices, and second of all, wondering myself. I was hoping for Kate Hudson in her underwear. Indeed, it was LITTLE MAN. Suffice to say, he was correct in his statements.

Keep in mind, he is one of the few critics who gave ULTRAVIOLET a positive review. He claimed it was a visual feast. So just imagine how bad LITTLE MAN is.

It's the kind of film you watch with eyes open and nudging the person next to you saying "Oh my god, did that really occur?" Yes, yes it did.

Films like LITTLE MAN are the type to be fawned over, shared with friends, and remembered for quite some time.

The great Gene Siskel once said: "Is this film more interesting then the directors, cast, and crew eating lunch discussing this film?" I would have liked to see the latter. The idea that this movie would be good for anyone's career, worth being made, and worth peoples time and money is beyond contempt. But maybe they are onto something. Their last piece of junk WHITE CHICKS grossed almost 70 million.

The plot, and I use that word very, very loosely is based around Calvin (Marlon Wayans) who is a vertically challenged thief. He is CGI'ed on the head of a small person. This might be the most fake, lame, and unrealistic CGI job in the history of movies. A little 12 year old with his first computer could have done a better job. I don't know if it was made to look bad to be funny, or it was unintentional. Nevertheless, it does not work on either account.

He steals a diamond and ends up having to put it in the purse of a suburban housewife Vanessa (Kerry Washington) to avoid getting caught. In order to properly secure the diamond, he hatches up a scheme to pretend to be a little baby and is dropped off at her doorstep. He figures if he pretends this long enough, he can retrieve the diamond. Vanessa and her husband Darryl (Shawn Wayans) think it's the adopted child they have been talking about getting for quite some time. So they take in little Calvin as one of their own.

The screenplay for LITTLE MAN calls for everyone in the film to be oblivious, dumb, and completely clueless to everything. I'm not expecting realism in this type of film, or genius characters, but the characters in this film are the types who believe in flying saucers. They have that much depth to their personality. Little Calvin has a full set of teeth, signs of facial hair, and a very mature looking face and they accept him as a child.

This type of film can be done and has been done. To as far back as the 50's with SOME LIKE IT HOT. But you need good characters, well-written speech, and some genuine comedy. The screenplay is very lazy here as they milk all they can out of this one trick pony. In the same way NACHO LIBRE did. The first 10 minutes, you are like OK this can be kinda funny, the 9th, and 10th time, it's just desperate and juvenile.

I do not want to get into a whole race issue here, but these types of films give black people a very bad name. American cinema has had films in the past decade such as BARBER SHOP, BEAUTY SHOP, ROLL BOUNCE and others which have shown a world for African Americans in which they all have jobs, drive cars, don't smoke pot, don't use four letter words, have relationships, are not in jail, not on parole, and not apart of gangs. Now, nobody is going to see LITTLE MAN in hopes it's noble in its depiction of African Americans, but this film is so awful, it might set us back 50 years socially and economically wise.

The final verdict is see Kate Hudson in her underwear.

Grade: F