The Da Vinci Code By Hervé St.Louis May 28, 2006 - 10:56:00 PM

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The Da Vinci Code
Genres:     Drama, Thriller and Adaptation
Running Time:     149 min.
Release Date:     May 19th, 2006 (wide)
MPAA Rating:     PG-13 for disturbing images, violence, some nudity, thematic material, brief drug references and sexual content.
Distributors:     
Sony Pictures Releasing, Sony Pictures Releasing International
Cast and Credits
Starring:     Tom Hanks, Jean Reno, Audrey Tautou, Ian McKellen, Audrey Tautou
Directed by:     Ron Howard
Produced by:     Dan Brown, Todd Hallowell, Brian Grazer

When Paris, Louvre curator, Jacques Saunière is assassinated in the museum, he leaves a clue for his granddaughter, officer Sophie Neveu and symbol expert, Professor Robert Langdon to identify his murderer. Sought by the French police, to provide some of his unique insight to the investigation, Langdon soon finds himself on the run from the police and the Opus Dei, a sect within the Catholic Church that’s hiding a terrible secret about Christianity.

Evil Albino Monk

I haven’t read the popular novel on which this film is based, but one thing is sure. If the novel is as bad as the movie is, I would do well to avoid it. Besides the fact that the entire premise is ridiculous, the movie itself drags and just won’t end. In the third Lord of The Ring movie, the film could not end either, but at least, it was a good and entertaining. Here, this film fails in terms of plot and just won’t get itself out of one’s sight when you want it to. The thrill and the suspense are not at the rendezvous.

The film was so bad, I almost got up to leave the theatre and ask for a refund. Let’s look at the various bad aspects of the film. The murder investigation. It’s not clear, but where was Langdon before he was asked to contribute to the investigation. It seems like he was not in Paris nor France. He must have been since he was the prime suspect for the murder. Second, once Langdon and Neveu learn that they are on everybody’s most wanted list, why don’t they try to get away? Why do they continue to investigate this puzzle? At this point the film felt like an old Scooby Doo episode, where the characters go through an investigation instead of going as far away.

Why does Neveu seem so informed and convinced of a conspiracy when she first meets Langdon, but they act like she doesn’t believe any of the revelations that pop out during the film? As for Tom Hanks, he’s supposed to be a class A actor. He was nothing but a piece of cardboard without emotions, although his very fate is on the line here. As for the conspiracy about Jesus Christ, I don’t know many Catholics and Christians who will lose fate because of it.

At this point, the story itself is ridiculous and seeing the extent of the real Opus Dei and the Catholic Church have spent to sway people’s opinion about this film, I wonder why they even bother. Films as ridiculous as the End of Days have shown evil Vatican soldiers and have not raise people’s curiosity. The Catholic Church itself is known for the many ravages it created in Latin America and other places, trying to forcefully convert pagans to Christianity. Surely, a couple of evil monks with blades and scheming bishops cannot be the worse thing these guys can do.

The Catholic Church and the Opus Dei should spend more time trying to teach Jesus Christ’s teachings rather than convince fans of Dan Brown, the novelist who wrote The Da Vinci Code, that the novel is blasphemous. Dan Brown and The Da Vinci Code can bury themselves without anybody’s help. If the spoilers about Jesus Christ are enough to cause a crisis of belief in people, than their belief was shaky from the beginning. Why would the Church build its fortune one people with light beliefs?

The main problem with this film is that the promotional hype around this film is so big that it has made this weak movie into a record setter. Unless you go see this turkey, you won’t know how bad it really is. For the producers of Da Vinci Code, this is a good thing. They can claim that X number of people went to see their film. Fortunately for them, they don’t have to say that people liked it.

When early critics of the films by the media said it was bad, I could not imagine how bad it was. I thought it was another case of the homo superior critic being out of touch with people. This time at least, they were right. This film is a train wreck not even worth owning on DVD. Only watch this piece of crap if it plays on a non cable channel in a few years, and then try not to fall asleep. I almost did fall asleep at 4 P.M..

As for the cinematography, they use this cleaver 3D ghost graphic to help people visualize the photographic memory of Langdon. They should have watched a couple of episodes from CSI Miami to see how one turns random objects into elements that trigger suspense and interests. Here the effects are ridiculous and do not express the concept of photographic memory.

The problem with The Da Vinci Code is that they tried to adapt a novel that worked well in its own media into a blockbuster. But you can’t justify reasonably that this little Scooby Doo outing can cause suspense on the big screen. It failed, just like Oprah Winfrey’s Beloved because what works with nothing but word looks unimpressive as moving images.. And just so you know. I’m not affiliated with the Opus Dei or anything similar.

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