I was in the greatest show on earth
By The ReverendJun 29, 2004 - 11:34
"I was in the greatest show on earth,
For what it was worth.
Now i'm only thirty-two;
And all i wanna do, is boogaloo!" -- Ringo Starr, "I'm The Greatest," written by John Lennon, from the album RINGO (Capitol, 1973)
California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger (can we still call him "Ahnuld" now that he's an elected head-of-state?) is apparently ready to lend his muscle to the Bush re-election campaign with a prominent role in the Republican National Convention in New York in August. Hey, if he wants to go down with the ship…
LASSO FAST, MY FRIEND! In celebration of the new DVD release of the Wonder Woman TV series (Season One), I am going to offer a new nomination for the role of the Amazon princess/warrior whenever Warner Bros. gets around to producing a live-action film. Joel Silver has reportedly been developing a Wonder Woman film franchise for years now, but the most it's gotten anyone in the last five years is periodic rumors that Sandra Bullock might don the tiny red tights and golden tiara. Bullock's been out of the running for a while, as this sort of movie franchise needs someone a little younger and more able to commit to a project that could last a few years. Sandra Bullock is too close to her forties to make such a commitment (plus, as great-looking as she is, she always struck me as too slight for the role).
In this very column last year, I gave a vote to a personal favorite of mine, Eliza Dushku. I'll always entertain that notion in my head, but common sense (i.e. size and stature) was always going get in the way of that vision becoming reality. But I feel infinitely more confident in nominating Bridget Moynahan for the role of Wonder Woman. Moynahan has been getting high profile acting assignments lately, acting alongside Colin Farrell and Al Pacino (
The Recruit), and this summer co-starring will "Mr. July" himself, Will Smith, in
I, Robot. Moynahan, with a pair of blue contacts, could easily strike the statuesque figure that fans would expect. It's also been more chic in the last five years to view Wonder Woman as a bit more exotic as she's essentially the creation of Greek goddesses. Moynahan captures a certain Grecian look pretty well. Not to say I consider Eliza Dushku a mistake, but a stronger candidate has presented herself here, and I feel stronger about this choice than I ever did with the tantalizing Miss Dushku. Moynahan can be found on the cover of this month's Self magazine if you need to familiarize yourself with this up-and-coming starlet. Oh, and I still say they should cast the original Wonder Woman, Lynda Carter , as Wondy's mother, Queen Hippolyta. Nothing wrong with a little stunt casting.
SEVEN OF SIXTY-NINE I have the feeling this is not how Jeri Ryan wanted to return to the spotlight after runs on TV's Star Trek: Voyager and Boston Public. The internet fantasy of many a Trekkie from her days as the human/Borg crossbreed Seven of Nine has grabbed headline attention in Illinois as her ex-husband, Republican U.S. Senate candidate Jack Ryan, becomes the latest politician immersed in a sex scandal. Court documents from the divorced couple's 2000-01 child custody battle were released to the media this week and the allegations could be lethal to Mr. Ryan's bid to become senator this November. The juicy part of the allegations that prompted the divorce filings were suggestions that Jeri's then-husband took her to sex clubs in New York, Paris, and New Orleans where group activity occurred with his hopes that she would perform sex acts with him in front of strangers. In Jeri's deposition, she claims that she said no to doing anything at these places. I'm trying to find a good "Where no man has gone before" line somewhere in all this. Ryan's formal take on it described the clubs as "avant-garde," but that just reminds me of occasions where I've pitched Behind the Green Door to friends as an art film. To those with some sort of faith in the democratic process, it sucks that this kind of thing can determine the fate of a senate campaign, and don't expect to be seeing much of Mr. Ryan come November. What's interesting is in the Chicago-area coverage on this developing story, the press made the determination that the details were a "bombshell," rather than let the public determine that this is a sex scandal like the Windy City has never seen. Liberal or conservative, that's media bias for you.
JUST WONDERINGI think most of people consider cigarettes to be drugs to some extent or another. I mean, they give you a buzz, and there's no question about their addictive qualities. So I wonder this as I walk into my downtown office building every day: why is it so unheard of for a person to take a break from work during the day to throw down a shot (no more than one), yet companies hardly think twice about their employees who have to go outside and huddle together in front of buildings to smoke just "get through the day"? Company policies usually state that alcohol is prohibited at the workplace, but the same is true for cigarettes. You have to be a certain age to enjoy either, so why is one acceptable over the other?
I'D LIKE SOME MOORE, PLEASE I do have to say that considering the fact that we're six days away from the sequel to one of the highest grossing movies of all time in
Spider-Man 2, I'm tripping over a lot more press and hype for Michael Moore's
Fahrenheit 9/11, a searing indictment on the Bush administration since his "election" in 2000. You'll notice that in all the right-wing attempts to discredit Moore this week that the most blatant criticism of the filmmaker centers around Moore himself and not as much the real content of the new documentary (never mind that most have not seen the film, nor will they). Watch
Bowling for Columbine and his new film, and you'll find that Moore spends a lot of time asking questions on everyone's minds. They're all questions CNN, ABC, CBS and others should have been asking since 2001, right up to now. The Right-fueled vitriol should surprise no one, as these same people will work overtime to silence voices rather than make any effort to present what they believe to be the truth in the form of a differing opinion. Their only truth is what's being played out right now in Iraq, Afghanistan, and Saudi Arabia with a faith-based spin. I've been wondering lately if it's even possible that a decent filmmaker who passionately and sincerely supports the actions of the Bush administration could do for Bush in a positive manner what Moore is doing for the liberal population out there. He's got the news channel that serves as his mouthpiece (Thanks, Rupert!), but who could serve as his Steven Spielberg, or his Mexican counterpart?
There's something desperate, if not altogether pathetic, that we now get a knee-jerk reactionary response like Michael Moore Hates America by Minnesota "documentarian" Michael Wilson. Bush has not found a filmmaker to champion his views in Michael Wilson, that much I can tell you. I'd respect Wilson's agenda, I suppose, if it wasn't so clearly all about attacking Moore and not so much the ideas and actions that Moore is against. Upon skimming through Wilson's paltry website, it's funny to note that he is quick to point out Moore's wealth (like a successful filmmaker has to apologize for making money from his work), but information that effectively disputes what Moore has been railing against is almost impossible to find. I know all too well how easy it is for people to bury their heads in the sand and discourage dissenting voices when they don't like what they hear. But I'll take a dissenting view supported by facts any day over agendas from folks like "Move America Forward" who exist solely to silence American opinions. Mr. Wilson, I'm waiting, and I think your president is too.
LOLLAPA-CANCELLED Note to Perry Farrell: Tapping the jam band market with this year's festival by including String Cheese Incident is inspired, but not enough to give them headliner status alongside Morrisey, Modest Mouse, and PJ Harvey. The tour lacked a knockout act that was truly a headliner for a traveling festival of this nature. Morrisey is great, but the Smiths are historic. People on the east coast are not going to flock to Lollapalooza if they know that the Pixies are only playing west coast dates, so a lineup consistent to the entire tour would help. Even when you booked a head-scratcher like Metallica a few years ago, their ability to sell tickets was never in question. Plus the market for outdoor festival tours is not what the same as ten years ago. More selective dates (and less dates in all) in more inclusive, centralized locations should be how Lollapalooza operates if it's ever going to roll again.
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Last Updated: Jan 11, 2012 - 23:31
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