By
The Reverend
July 29, 2003 - 13:30
In twenty-plus years of collecting comic books, I've bought less than a dozen X-Men comics. In the Eighties, I'd have rather chewed glass than bought
anything from Marvel, and not a whole lot changed for me going into the Nineties. For years, Marvel Comics were notoriously inaccessible for new readers, and it was impossible for me to embrace whatever it was that was making
Uncanny X-Men the undisputed champ in comic book sales (to this day). Marvel's decision in the early 1990s to spin the X-Men book franchise into several monthly titles did nothing to pique my interest, in fact the overt greed that was evident with these corporate moves only strengthened my "Make Mine ANYTHING BUT Marvel" resolve. That being said, I was as eager as anybody of the diehards to see the Merry Mutants launch a film franchise, because I knew that 99% of the bullshit from Marvel's X-books would not make the cut for a franchise that had to bring in non-comics fans to thrive.
When 20th Century Fox released
X-Men in 2000, I was still hung over from Joel Schumacher's bastardization of the Batman film series with
Batman & Robin, as successful a character assassination as I've ever witnessed. So God bless director Bryan Singer (
The Usual Suspects) when he delivered (under a criminally tight production schedule, down to the wire0) a flick that had me recalling the glory days of the first two Superman motion pictures. I was happier than a pig in shit to see the powers that be rediscover the idea that a superhero concept can work when placed in a realistic setting.
So I got to see
X2: X-Men United Sunday night, and, with my friends, doing our part to contribute to the movie's "uncanny" weekend haul of $85.9 million. The first X-movie saw a film franchise in its infancy, and it was hardly a sure thing at the box office. With its rookie success, it made sense that any sequel was going to get more bling bling and carte blanche to kick ass. With
X2: X-Men United it shows. I was accompanied by a lady friend who had not seen the first movie, so I was very mindful of what she was going to comprehend and what required a lot of know-how from "
X1." My friend seemed to dig the movie, so I think Singer & Co. at least accomplished that feat in making a sequel accessible to the uninitiated. As for me?
X2 was X-traordinary! Granted this was a totally different story going in a totally different direction, but
X2 was far better than the last couple of STAR WARS movies in my book. And there are a lot of characters to give coverage to in an X-Men movie, and it was handled seamlessly in
X2. Everything was turned up to 11, but not at the expense of the audience's senses. There are far too many event movies that coast on their special effects,
Tomb Raider or the
Mummy movies immediately coming to mind, where you can actually feel yourself getting more stupid as you watch it. Not the case with the X-Men series. Heart, brains, and soul are never sacrificed for the sake of a couple nifty explosions. I'm already looking forward to the next story of X, and I want to see some full-tilt action with Colossus. His "cameo" was such a tease of things to come!
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For about four years, I was cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs over the idea of Catherine Zeta-Jones playing Wonder Woman in a motion picture or two. Still am, if she got herself into game shape (birthin' babies, and lookin' good doin' it too!), but the deeper she gets into her 30s (horror of horrors), the more that window is going to close, especially judging this as an extended franchise. Z-J is going to be 34 this September, and that's not a good age for a lady to start an action franchise that could span years. Just common sense from a Hollywood standpoint...
And as much as I thought Joel Silver was taking a safe & easy option, I was not totally opposed to Sandra Bullock playing Diana (but SHE is going to be 39 in JULY! That window IS closed.). Wouldn't have been my first choice, but at least it wasn't the WWE's Chyna, or Lucy Lawless (quite the simple-minded choice, if you ask me).
So I don't think this fits any trends found with any of the people I just mentioned, but I think my new lead choice is
Eliza Dushku. Two things to me that are not in her favor are her height, and her tomboyish voice. Hollywood can definitely adjust a little thing like Miss Dushku's lack of Amazon stature (and she's 5'5", so it shouldn't be the issue one would assume it has to be). Plus I just think she's hot as f***, has action chops to spare, and genuine acting talent. And she had a line in
Jay & Silent Bob Strike Back about Wonder Woman that'll stick with me for years. Something about Underoos… Another thing I believe is that she does have an appropriate look to convey Greek ethnicity. Seems to be a more popular thing these days with the Wonder Woman character, so I think she has that going for her.
Now if only TPTB can come up with a script that would do Wonder Woman justice, we'd be in business. Some of the concepts that have made the rounds in the last couple of years are unforgivably horrible. How hard is it to stick with a basic concept like Steve Trevor crashing his plane on Paradise Island, Diana winning a contest to be the representative to return him to Man's World, and hilarity ensues in the good ol' U.S. of A.??? Want me to do it? Shit, I'll do it for f***ing free. Sheesh!
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RANDOM THOUGHTS:
Former Washington State football coach Mike Price called it a career at Alabama this weekend and chalked up a record of 0-0. Message to married men everywhere: You should never, ever go to a strip bar unless you are attending a close friend or relative's bachelor party. And if a visit to the titty bar is something you have to hide from your spouse, DON'T GO. Your life and career are fair game if you ignore this advice especially if you're a public figure.
RE: Marvel vs. Sony in the fight for Spider-Man. I don't know all the details, but if anybody can let me know if any good can come from this, gimme a holler.
Hope all is well in your stretch of the universe! Big ups yo'self!
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