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Turistas

By Tony Farinella
March 29, 2007 - 08:52

Turistas
Writer: Michael Ross
Director: John Stockwell
Starring: Olivia Wilde, Melissa George, Josh Duhamel, and Beau Garrett
94 min / 102 min (unrated version) Horror 2006
MPAA: Rated R for strong graphic violence and disturbing content, sexuality, nudity, drug use and language.

Thankfully,  I'll never end up in a film like "Turistas."  I don't fit the description of the characters who end up in these films.  First of all, I can't walk around shirtless.  Because of this, it eliminates me right away from even being considered for this film. Second of all, I don't travel to exotic locations. The only exotic place you can find me at is Del Taco.  Thirdly, I don't hang around women in bikinis.  Thankfully, I can rest easy that I won't end up being sliced and diced in a film like "Turistas."  Everyone else?  You might want to second guess your decision to leave the country.  Don't believe me?  You can ask the boys in "Hostel" about that.  It just never ends up good.  Apparently, Americans are hated by a good portion of the world.  Can't we all just get along?

"Turistas" opens up with a young woman strapped to some crazy and over-the-top torture device. She pleads with the torturer to just let her go home.  She'll go home alright.  She'll go home in a body bag.  The film then introduces us to a group of attractive, bland, and uninteresting characters.  We meet the brother and sister duo of Alex and Bea, who are played by Josh Duhamel and Olivia Wilde.  I'll always remember Olivia from her steamy lesbian relationship with Mischa Barton on the O.C.  They also bring along a pal by the name of Amy, who is played by Beau Garrett.  The group appears to be having a enjoyable vacation for the most part.  Unfortunately, their bus breaks down in a strange Brazilian jungle.  They end up making friends with a group of Brits and a gorgeous young woman named Pru, who is played by Melissa George.  They decide to make the most of their time in Brazil despite the broken bus.

They end up getting drunk and partying every night.  This kind of behavior only leads to destruction in a horror film.  They also make another mistake by staying at an old abandoned house.  I can only assume the characters in this film have never seen a horror film.  They find out this old house is used to slice up Americans and take out their organs.  I'll leave it up to you to decide how the rest of the film unfolds.  "Turistas" is not without style and flair as the director is John Stockwell.  His previous work includes "Blue Crush" and "Into the Blue."  He has a fantastic visual sense.  Outside of that, all of the characters in his movies are good-looking people who say and do stupid things.  The film is also incredibly boring.  It takes almost an hour to get to the real meat and bones of the story.  You have to spend an hour with these personality-challenged characters.  It's quite an ordeal.

Not to mention, the torture scenes are more gross than scary.  The torture scenes have no build up or drama to them.  They try to add some character development to the villain while he's slicing up the Americans.  He spouts off his lackluster and cheesy reasons for why he wants to kill these Americans.  The film should have spent more time developing the villain.  When the villain finally arrives, it means nothing.  The film moves far too slow in the first half.  Following this, it moves far too fast in the finale.  The film is also a carbon copy of other slasher flicks.  It doesn't attempt to try anything new or take any chances.  This looks like a film that was only released based on the popularity of "Hostel" and "Saw."  They were trying to capitalize on that success.  Unfortunately, the film doesn't cater to any audience whatsoever.  Slasher fans will be bored and uninterested.  Everyone else will find little to like in this film.

Special Features: This DVD is the Unrated Edition of the film.  I didn't end up seeing the film when it was in theaters.  Because of this, I can't tell you what is different from the theatrical release.  The only special feature on the DVD is a thirteen minute feature that talks about shooting the film.  You hear a lot about the special effects that were used in the film.

Final Thoughts: "Turistas" is lazy, uninspired, and predictable.  The good looking cast does their best, but have little to work with in this film.  John Stockwell needs to find a script that meshes with his talented directional style.

Grade: D

Last Updated: November 29, 2025 - 16:51