Gearing up for Comic Con. Episode I: “Welcome to Thunderdome!”
Here it is, Ladies and Gentlemen. Welcome to the San Diego Comic Con! You’ve made it. Perhaps, if you’re lucky, you’ve only woken up this morning and driven across town but, if you’re like most of the more than quarter of a million weekend attendees, the San Diego Convention Center is the terminus of a cross-country expedition wrought with layovers, lost luggage and unnecessarily thorough searches by over-zealous, yet curiously gentle, airport security personnel…or maybe that’s just my travelogue.
Either way, you’re here now. Your boss couldn’t keep you away. Neither could the rising gas prices, the bustling mid-summer airport crowds or the oppressive July heat. And now that you’re here it’s time to exhale, take it all in, give a quick nod to St. Christopher and just let whatever adventures are meant to happen happen, right? Wrong.
San Diego Comic Con is most definitely a place for partying and fun, but if you’ve traveled all this way you may as well make the most of this trip. In order for that to happen, you need to make sure you’ve got at least a little bit of a plan.
“A Plan?” you ask. “Why do I need a plan? I’ve made it this far along the evolutionary axis without a plan!” While that may be true, here’s why you need to know what you’re doing in San Diego: simply put, this is the largest comic con in the U.S.—arguably the largest in the world!
If you’ve never been before, going to San Diego comic con is very much like walking into Bartertown in the classic “Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome.” For those of you who somehow missed this classic piece of eighties cinema (you philistines!), let me set the scene: Max, our wasteland-wandering hero, has just had his camels and possessions stolen and has now entered the seedy, ramshackle “Bartertown” in the hopes of getting them back. Bartertown is a haggard desert outpost full of bandits, gunmen and peddlers of deadly, nuclear-fallout-contaminated water. It is also the home of seven-foot-tall mindless brutes who give piggyback rides to small, intelligent, high-voiced men who speak of themselves in the third-person and who happen to be locked in political tug-of-wars with mysterious, manipulative figures known simply as “Auntie.”
This is Comic Con.
Okay, so maybe this isn’t quite Comic Con (though I did see a rather big guy giving a rather small guy a piggy back ride last time I was there). But it can feel that way. Once you enter the San Diego Convention Center the first thing that catches your attention is the scale of it all. The building is a mammoth, multi-floored facility with the outer walkway having clear windows that open out onto the city and, somehow, make the building fell all the larger, as if it never ends, but rolls out to fuse with all the world. And there you are in all of that, with just your event list (and its dozens of events listed per day), your favorite, most comfortable shoes (if you’re smart) and a pocketful of money that, already, is being eyed by roving vendors offering tickets to raffles that include a chance to meet your favorite author or perhaps even a chance to win a new car. And remember, this is all before you even enter the main convention center area.
The central area, the first time you visit, is a little like pandemonium. Tens of thousands of people swirl around you. Hanging from the ceiling are twenty foot tall banners depicting your favorite heroes or your patron comic book company in all its glory. Look to your left: vendor tables rolled out as far as the eye can see, occasionally interrupted by a life-size sculpture of the Hulk or maybe the Hulk himself. (Or is that just a muscle-bound fanboy who’s painted himself green? The fact that he’s carrying a digital camera, wearing crocs and eyeglasses says “yes” but, at the San Diego Comic Con, who can be sure?)
Look to your right: more vendor tables organized by era (Golden, Silver, Modern, Import), game outposts, classic and contemporary comic exhibits, fanboys and fangirls in cosplay, some guy just standing there craning his neck back and forth, looking just the way you feel—like a deer in headlights. Before you can get your bearings and take it all in a crowd of “X-men” come rumbling by, nearly knocking you over. You’ve just dropped your bag onto the flyer-and-popcorn/nacho-littered floor. You bend to pick it up and another clump of attendees comes rushing by, bowling you over. Now you’re trying to pick yourself up from the floor and some little kid walks by with a Star Wars light saber and smacks you squarely in the crown of your head screaming “I’ll never join you!!” and, for a sad little moment, you try to figure out what the hell you’re doing here…again, maybe that’s just my travelogue.
That little local comic shop you know and love probably isn’t here, but Metropolis Comics who sells both mainstream and frighteningly obscure comics upwards of $40,000 (check photo) is here.
Those two guys who are always taking about writing their own comic book
series probably aren’t here, but you just might bump into Stan Lee,
Todd McFarlane, Jim Lee and lots of others. That one comic you’ve been
searching for and not able to find in your town or the three nearby
towns…well, it’s here. And not only is it here, it’s here in both
ratty, dog-eared, page-yellowed form as well as 9.8+
CGC-graded-send-you-screaming-to-the-poorhouse form. Still think you
don’t need a plan?
This is Bartertown. This is the San Diego Comic con. This is what you’ve got to plan for! This is why I’m writing this series.
(Now some of you hardcore comic-conners may be saying “But Jason, I’m no newbie! I’ve been there, done that and took the required antibiotics to clear up the rash! I’ve read your article and all I got was what I already knew. What am I supposed to get out of this series?” Don’t fret my battle-hardened brethren! Now that we've gotten the introduction out of the way, we’ll get into the specific tricks of the trade with the very next installment: “Episode II: Masters Level Haggling—Getting What You’ve Always Wanted!” ...I was gonna save this one for the end of the series, but I’m the kind of guy that likes it when the movie begins by blowing up the building!)
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